Life throws us challenges, and it is useful to recognise how our own personal dialogue helps or hinders. In today’s blog, Helen reflects on just this:

Wellbeing is a tricky concept, isn’t it? It’s difficult to get a single meaningful definition, and generally that’s because it means different things to each of us. One person’s good day is another person’s bad day, and we all have our own goals and priorities. I live with chronic health issues, so for me, if I can manage myself well enough to have a day without pain, that’s a success.

There are two main things I’ve learned which have really helped my personal wellbeing.

One is to note the tone of my inner voice. My natural tendency is to be very self-critical and to always assume the worst of others’ intentions. When I was younger I thought that being critical would push me and help me to get better – it didn’t. Speaking to yourself in the way you would speak to a friend, with kindness and compassion, is a far healthier and happier habit.

The other is to recognise my own limits, and not compare myself to others. It is so easy to think about all the things you ‘should’ be doing or are ‘supposed’ to be, and I am excellent at negatively judging myself against unattainable standards. It’s great to have goals, but they need to be realistic. As much as I might like the idea, I’m not going to be climbing mountains or running marathons on a weekend, and I simply don’t have enough energy for all the hobbies I’d like to have. I’ll be honest, sometimes it’s difficult to be okay with that. In the end though, you have to be fair to yourself.

Helen Hogg, HR Advisor