Two months on from the end of the formal Transformational Change Process, many of us are still navigating a complex emotional landscape. While some are adjusting to new team dynamics, others are grappling with a quieter, less visible emotion: survivor’s guilt.

You might be asking yourself:

“How can I support my team when I’m struggling too?”
“Why do I feel guilty when I didn’t make the decisions?”
“How do I help people move forward without dismissing what’s been lost?”

These are valid questions. Survivor’s guilt is a natural response to change, especially when it involves loss of colleagues, relationships, routines, and a sense of stability. It can show up as sadness, anxiety, or even a reluctance to embrace new opportunities.

Here are some practical ways to support yourself and your team:

1. Name it, normalise it

Survivor’s guilt is real. Naming it helps reduce the stigma and opens the door for honest conversations. You don’t need to have all the answers, just acknowledging that this is a shared experience can be powerful.

• Use team meetings or Positive Performance Conversations to gently check in.
• Share that mixed emotions are expected and valid.
• Avoid rushing to “fix” feelings, sometimes being heard is enough.

2. Create space for reflection

People may be processing the departure of close colleagues or the impact of change on their role. Give them permission to reflect.

• Encourage journaling, coaching, or peer conversations.
• Use Positive Performance Conversations to explore how people are feeling, not just what they’re doing.
• Consider team reflections to reflect on what’s changed and what’s needed going forward. The Team Canvas is a great starting point for this, join the workshop or access the resources on the Leadership and Management Toolkit.

3. Rebuild purpose and connection

Guilt can make people feel disconnected or undeserving of new opportunities. Help them reconnect with their purpose and value (again….the Team Canvas can really help with this).

• Revisit team goals and individual strengths.
• Celebrate small wins and contributions.
• Invite people to shape the future, ask what they want to be part of next.

4. Support yourself first

As a manager, you may be carrying your own guilt, for staying, for making decisions, or for not being able to protect others. You’re not alone.

“I’ve had team members say they feel lucky to still have a job, but also uneasy, like they’re not sure how to be positive when others didn’t get that chance. It’s a strange mix of gratitude and guilt, and I’ve felt it myself too.” (Manager, CCCU)

• Talk to peers, request a mentor, book a coaching conversation or use Spectrum Life.
• Reflect on what you need to feel grounded and supported.
• Model self-compassion, it gives others permission to do the same.

5. Keep the conversation going

Survivor’s guilt doesn’t disappear overnight. It may resurface during anniversaries, restructures, or when new people join.

• Check in regularly, not just once.
• Be mindful of language, avoid “moving on” and instead talk about “moving forward.”
• Stay curious about how people are feeling and what they need.

You can’t control how everyone feels about the process or the decisions made. But you can influence how people feel now, by showing empathy, creating space, and helping them find meaning in what comes next.

If you or your team need support, remember there’s a range of resources available internally which I’ve linked to throughout. There are also some great external resources such as this article in HR Magazine: How to Talk to Employees Experiencing Survivor’s Guilt. It offers practical advice for both managers and HR professionals on acknowledging emotions, building resilience, and maintaining morale.

Harriet Robb, Learning and Organisational Development Team