I’ve recently started reaching out to managers to offer some “How Can I…?” sessions. The purpose of these sessions is to help Leaders and Managers find the right support for their specific Leadership and Management challenges. With so much out there it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The conversations are 20 minutes long and the aim is to find the right support for their specific need. It’s also an opportunity to identify any gaps in what we offer. All I ask in advance is for managers to think of their biggest management challenge right now and put it into one sentence starting ‘How can I….?’

So far, I have managed to connect people with activities, events and resources to support them with their challenges and have had some positive feedback.

What I wasn’t anticipating was all the great ideas and insights which have surfaced from these conversations. It’s amazing what you can cover in 20 minutes!

So, it inspired me to create this How Can I…Blog Series. I’m sure these challenges aren’t unique, and it felt like a good opportunity to share the ideas and top tips these sessions inspired.

How can I encourage kindness?

At one of my recent How Can I…? sessions someone was wondering how the recent changes may impact on our university culture. By this they meant the friendly and caring environment that makes working at the University a real pleasure. It is regularly cited in staff surveys by lots of people as one of the things they value most about working here. 

They asked, “How can I encourage kindness?”

When dealing with challenges such as those currently facing the higher education sector, relationships can become strained. Anxiety is heightened, people feel frustrated, and this can present itself in all sorts of different ways. People may act out of character, there are higher absence rates, productivity may drop and there is the potential for more conflict within the team.

As a manager it might feel pointless even trying to make a difference when faced with significant changes, and small acts of kindness could feel like a drop in the ocean. You might worry that these gestures won’t come across as authentic given the circumstances. Or maybe maintaining relationships is simply not at the top of your agenda with so much else going on.

But it’s these small acts of kindness that will make all the difference over the coming months and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time.

One example of a positive action is a manager who sent an email using supportive language and encouraging people to be kind to themselves but also to each other. This simple act made a real difference to how people were feeling. 

My insight from this is don’t let go of the small things, they matter more than ever right now and can help people cope with the bigger things.

Here are some simple ideas for encouraging kindness:

• Listen deeply to how people feel and create space for this, don’t wait for people to come to you as this could take a huge effort for people right now. Instead reach out, whether it’s through your usual Positive Performance Conversations or another method and – ask ‘how are you?’ and then ‘how are you really?’. Acknowledge that things are difficult. Know what’s going on for people and follow up with them.
• Before launching into business, take time at the start of team meetings to find out how people are, adding a simple check-in to your agenda. You could use an anonymous survey tool like mentimeter to do a team pulse survey.    
• Start the day with a warm greeting. Sharing a smile can lift the mood of others around you.
• Brene Brown says “Clear is Kind. Unclear is Unkind” in her book Dare to Lead. In small acts of kindness relevant to right now, this might be about helping people navigate support, answering questions (and being clear when you don’t have an answer!), agreeing deadlines and short-term priorities to help them feel like they are still productive.
• Say thanks to those you interact with and acknowledge their contributions. That might be stopping to chat to one of the gardeners on campus and thanking them for the impact the green space has on you, or thanks to a colleague who helped you out with a tricky task, or catching up with someone from another team while you are in the coffee queue and letting them know you enjoyed their blog! This way you are spreading kindness beyond your team and across the university community.
• Remember that kindness starts with you – so be kind to yourself too and practice self-care.

Harriet Robb, Organisational Development Manager