This is why..
I sometimes question the value of connection. The value of employment. The value of love. But today I met a good new friend, we spoke about the awards night and he said how he appreciated being part of the poetry chatter. Not realising that the most recent blog was his influence this time.
I then spoke to students in tutorials one of which had written a blog called ‘words have wings’. Another student influenced to write prose that achieved 100% in a recent module. A beautiful and moving module that asks what exists within the professional.
Then I recieved this blog.. and it made me cry. I cried earlier because I missed my dad and that space is still so raw. (The unknown wave of grief) I also have asked again for solution focused therapy as I want to move on. Not because I am weak and broken but because I am aware, strong and happily broken.
Within the rainbow there is a massive amount of symbolism. It’s a promise and it’s a blessing but most of all it’s a symbol of unity and appreciation.
Just so happy tonight. So so very happy as I know I am becoming protected and surrounded by friends.
When I see a rainbow, I don’t see blocks of colours. I see a spectrum of colours, but I feel that kaleidoscope too. I feel the warmth of a deep red, and the calmness of a sky blue. I feel the harshness of black, and the bleakness in a grey.
I pin my identity on feeling this rainbow, and I feel the vast distance that is created by seeing and feeling the world from this different perspective. For countless years I have yearned for an environment where the distance shortened and became reachable. That I could find myself amongst others, and not tagged as the “other”. Often cautious that to feel a connection that is born from a shared understanding might just be like fog, unable to be caught. I braved the possibility that like-minded souls could be hiding in a poetry symposium, and I found that this was true.
In a room where poetry danced between us, connecting strangers in an instant. Emotions embraced. The silence was peaceful, content in our connection. We were beautifully united. No longer a room of strangers, but bonded by words, dancing through the kaleidoscope of colours together yet as single entities. In a space where we could embrace the beauty of emotions, and the power of words. We could be free, free to feel the true depth, with the full spectrum of our colours unfolding within. Free to hold our own identity without restraints.
Each able to absorb this connection with us as we set about busying ourselves with our lives. Restoring some emotional equilibrium that we so often find depleted.
It’s all I have to bring today by Emily Dickenson
It’s all I have to bring today
This, and my heart beside
This, and my heart, and all the fields
And all the meadows wide
Be sure you count—should I forget
Someone the sum could tell
This, and my heart, and all the Bees
Which in the Clover dwell.